I know you wish you could stop falling off the wagon.
What if I told you, there is no wagon?
If you’re a woman who gets shit done, you’re probably used to starting strong. You get to the gym, eat well, and are in bed before midnight (instead of doom-scrolling TikTok). You’re winning at life.
Then… life happens.
• Work gets hectic.
• The kids get sick.
• You miss one workout, then another.
• You grab a takeaway instead of the healthy meal you planned.
And suddenly, that little voice in your head says: “Well, I’ve fucked it now. Might as ‘get back on it’ on Monday.”
NEWSFLASH: You don’t have to ‘get back on it’
There’s no mythical “perfect streak” you need to maintain. No imaginary set of rules where one missed habit means you’re back to square one.
And it’s that all-or-nothing mindset that’s screwing with your progress.
Why you feel like you’re “on or off the wagon”
High-achieving women LOVE structure, goals, and momentum. You thrive on having a plan and smashing it.
So when you miss a step? Your brain sees it as failure.
💡Your brain thrives on predictability and routine.
When a pattern is disrupted (e.g., missing a workout), your habit loop gets interrupted, triggering guilt and overcorrection. That’s why you feel the urge to “start afresh” rather than simply continuing.
But health doesn’t work like a project deadline. You don’t get an A+ for being “perfect” and an F for fucking up.
Because progress isn’t a straight line. It’s messy. And the sooner you accept that, the sooner you’ll actually get results.
❓Reflection Question:
Next time you miss a workout or eat a chocolate brownie, instead of thinking, “I’ve messed up,” ask yourself:
👉 “What’s ONE small action I can take right now to keep moving forward?”
Here’s how to ditch the wagon mentality for good
1. Stop Thinking in ‘Good’ and ‘Bad’ Days
One skipped workout or a delicious pizza doesn’t mean you’ve ruined everything. Instead of labelling your days good or bad, ask:
👉 “What can I do today to move forward?”
Maybe it’s drinking more water.
Maybe it’s a 5-minute walk.
Maybe it’s just not throwing the towel in entirely.
Your progress isn’t about what you do perfectly—it’s about what you do consistently.
This is called Cognitive Reframing—a proven technique that shifts black-and-white thinking into flexible, problem-solving thinking.
By seeing health as a continuum rather than a pass/fail system, you eliminate guilt-driven self-sabotage.
To help with this, focus on what you ARE doing, and track small wins (hydration, movement, protein intake) so you always have momentum, no matter what.
❓Reflection Question:
Next time you feel like you’ve had a ‘bad’ day, pause and ask:
👉 “What’s ONE win I can take from today?”
(Maybe you drank your water, got to bed early, or didn’t let a bad meal turn into a bad week.)
2. Learn to adjust your gas burners
Stop treating progress like a switch—either fully ON (going to the gym, tracking macros, hitting 10,000 steps)… or completely OFF (eating everything in sight, avoiding exercise, pretending kale doesn’t exist).
Real progress works like a gas burner—you can turn it up or down, depending on how much gas you have in the tank, but it’s never just ON or OFF.
Busy week? Adjust the activity burner down. Do shorter workouts, do five minute bursts of steps round the garden, get extra sleep.
Going through a stressful life event? Turn up that self care burner, and turn down any physical stressors (like a calorie deficit)
More time and energy? Turn that health burner up. Get to the gym, dial in your nutrition, do some meal prep, push the intensity
The key? Never turn it off completely.
This is based on Self-Regulation Theory, which shows that sustainable change happens when people adjust their behaviours based on circumstances rather than quitting when things aren’t perfect.
❓Reflection Question:
Next time life gets busy, instead of quitting, ask:
👉 “What does turning the burner down look like for me?”
(Maybe it’s a 10-minute walk instead of a full workout, or aiming for 80% healthy meals instead of 100%.)
3. Build a Resilience Plan for ‘Messy’ Weeks
You WILL have shit weeks. The question is: What’s your plan for when they happen?
Instead of pretending you’ll always be motivated (you won’t be), have a go-to plan for when the shit hits the fan:
Non-Negotiables: Pick 2-3 things you commit to, no matter what. (Filling your water bottle in the morning, walking round the block at lunchtime, eating protein with every meal.)
Emergency Workouts: A quick, go-to workout for when you’re short on time. Find one on YouTube, it really is that easy.
Minimum Nutrition Effort: If all else fails, prioritise protein and don’t skip meals.
Domino Habit: we all have what I like to call a ‘domino habit’ – the one habit that if you knock it over, the rest of your habits fall down too.
For me, it’s CrossFit. If I don’t go to CrossFit first thing in the morning, I will end up sat at my desk most of the day, I won’t have filled my water bottle & drank a litre by 9am, I’ll mistake thirst for hunger and snack more, and generally not do any of the things that keep me well.
Identify your domino habit, and make sure it’s there as often as possible.
When you have these things in place, you never feel like you’re “starting over”—you’re just adjusting.
I use what are called Implementation Intentions with my clients, always in the same format:
If x happens then I will do y.
If I oversleep, then I will go to the gym at lunchtime instead.
People who plan for obstacles are significantly more likely to stick to their goals.
✅ Reflection Question:
👉What are your non-negotiables for your next stressful week?
Write them down NOW, before you need them.
4. Stop saying “I’ll start again Monday”
Monday isn’t a magic day. Where do you think the will/determination/motivation you’ve been lacking all week is gonna materialise from on a Sunday night?
There’s nothing special about waiting for the ‘perfect time’ to start again.
Every time you hit reset, you reinforce the “on or off” mindset.
You have ‘permission’ to wipe the slate clean any time you like, as many times as you need to. It’s not a failure.
We call this Temporal Discounting, where people delay action because they believe their “future self” is a person who always has their shit together.
Spoiler: They aren’t.
Instead, say “I’ll start again NOW.”
Not Monday. Not tomorrow. NOW.
Because the longer you wait, the harder it gets to restart.
✅ Reflection Question:
Next time you’re tempted to ‘start Monday,’ ask:
👉 “What’s the downside of starting again NOW?”
The bottom line: keep moving, no matter what
Falling off the wagon isn’t real. You don’t need to be “on” or “off”—you just need to keep going in whatever capacity you can.
And that will look different every single day, depending on how tired/stressed/hungry/hormonal you are.
Progress is built on Neuroplasticity, your brain’s ability to rewire itself with repetition. The more you train yourself to keep going, even imperfectly, the stronger your habits become.
Some days you’ll be smashing PBs and meal-prepping like a boss.
Some days you’ll be just managing to drink enough water and stretch before bed.
Both count.
So, next time you feel like you’ve fucked up and want to scrap the whole thing?
DON’T. Turn the burner down, do what you can, and keep going.
You’re not starting over.
You’re just continuing.
Because, to quote those famous philosophers Bananarama:
‘It ain’t what you do, it’s the way that you do it. And that’s what gets results.’
👉 What ONE small thing are you doing today to move your health forward?
Drop it in the comments 👇